Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Why I am gay for David Cameron. Why I want to be Robin to his Batman. Why Samantha Cameron's sister seems quite nice.

Robin & Batman preparing to fight crime, yesterday ---->

Ok, I'll admit it. I've always been a toryphobe. Yes, it's nothing to be proud of, but there you are. I'm outing myself. I used to hate tories in a vile and irrational way.

I wouldn't even go in a communal shower if I thought there was a Conservative MP in there. I would just rather stay dirty.
(insert lame joke about shafting miners)

I'm sorry, but there you are. There was just something about these Tory types... Something icky, that irked my northern soul. I'd look at them - all looking the same in their clone-like suits, their neat short hair and their slightly creepy zombie smiles. "Hello, we're the Conservatives, would you like to join us?" This spectral smile beaming down at me. No. Never. You can take your Conservative manifesto and shove where the sun don't shine, sunshine.

Etc, ibid, cf & viz. Quite.

You've got no chance. It - it - the idea of me being a tory - disgusted me.

But then I met Dave...

You know, there I was, at the Farmer's market buying my organic veg; a newly bought - and very rare - French import of the The Queen is Dead LP tucked under my arm - when this guy comes up to me and starts chatting about rare Comsat Angels 12 inchers... Hmmm, hmmm? I think we know where this is going. He started telling me about his likes and dislikes and it seemed that we had so much in common: cycling, cricket, chubby faces, C86 style indie music, chinese food, crime fighting...

He told me how it wasn't like I'd heard - being a Tory - you didn't have do to all those nasty slightly grim things that the old school tories were into.

It might be a bit painful the first time you tried it, but surely that was all part of the fun. If I tried it, I was sure to like it. Then he said something about how his analogy was getting strained and got on his bike and left.

Dave Cameron had turned me. I'm in love with a Tory!!!!!!

A crime fighting, tough on the kidz, down with the kidz, has a wife n two kidz, tory... O the shame. O, please please Dave, you are my Dark Knight let me be your Robin!

I could do a better job than this hottentot hottie...

"Alice Sheffield, Samantha Cameron's half-sister, is on the leader's staff at Westminster in his correspondence unit.
However, she is an employee of the Conservative Party and is not paid out of Mr Cameron's staff allowance as an MP.
" So says the Daily Mail.

<-------Vicky Vale (aka the Lovely Lady Sheffield) & Bruce Banner (Dynamic Dave C) relaxing, yesterday <-------

Now surely there'd be less nepotistic semi-accusations if Dave were to employ me as his little assistant. His fag. It'd be like Eton all over again. Ahh, well I can dream...
For any American readers (ha! unlikely times 8million) - please do not get your notions of faggery mixed up:

p.s. this has to be worth reading, right?


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