Friday, January 02, 2009

Why your blog needs to have its head examined

I'm planning on some serious self-analysis this January. That rubbish worn out old year has been binned and the new year is just fresh outta the box. So new it's like a pink mewling kitten. Look - 2009 - isn't it cute!!! So new and lovely and hardly ruined at all. But me? I'm not new. I'm still old me. And that's not right. No. In 2009 I'm going to be the person *I deserve to be* or words to that affect. I've got a copy of 'Do Less, Achieve More' on my bookshelf and this year I'm actually going to read it.

But it's not only me that needs to be analysed, it's you too, Imaginary Reader. Look at you! I mean, look at you! What are you like? Frankly, Imaginary Reader, I have no idea what you're like. But I know that you need help. And there's only one person that can help you - and it's not me. It's you.........

That's right. Self-help. Therapy. Endless hopeful self-analysis. All of that. It's January, we've got to do it. Before we can even make resolutions we need to decide what we need to improve.

We need to know where we are right now. So here at Not A Kid And Not That Friendly we're having a bit of a psychotherapy session. Feel free to join in. Asking questions. Probably not getting answers. But trying. That is the thing. Trying to find answers to these 3 vital questions.
  1. What am I like?
  2. What is this blog's personality?
  3. Are visitors to this blog finding what they want?
Let's go with the the easiest and most amusing first. The visitors to this blog:

The most amusing search terms used by visitors to
Not A Kid And Not That Friendly

Analysis of why people bother visiting feeds back some interesting results. Some might get what they want. Some will end up leaving after 3 seconds feeling jibbed.

The 10 Most Disappointed Visitors came here searching for:
    1. germaine greer brazilian waxing (she probably doesn't, I'm guessing)
    2. is daniel corbett related to ronnie corbett? (possibly not, but I'm not the person to ask)
    3. wufty teen (wufty, anyone?)
    4. do jews celebrate bonfire night? (As in, do Jewish people *celebrate* by having firework displays on November 5th? Probably. Or do they support the burning of Guy Fawkes effigies? Ummm. Next.)
    5. does burt reynolds pluck his eyebrows? (almost certainly)
    6. osbourne bedded cameron eton (no comment. Wouldn't surprise me though.)
    7. ciccolina horse video (hey! It's not my fault. I know nothing of this!)
    8. teen hitchhikers spend the night with gay drivers (do they? This seems like it's a statement rather than a question.)
    9. bonfire moseley november 2008 (Hello, visitor, if you're looking for information about the entrance fee and what time it starts, I'm sorry but I really can't help you, mate.)
    10. i always had scattered eyebrows (Ok, thanks for sharing. Scattered eyebrows sound quite nice actually. Poetic. Can I see a picture?)
By the way, dear Imaginary Reader, if it was you that came to this bloggage via one of these searches, welcome and thanks for staying despite the lack of information provided on these subjects. In terms of numbers this blog has become one of the key Internet sources for information on *Big Ear Holes*, *what melancholic-sanguine men like about women* & *Madonna's Eyebrows*. This is a fact of which I am justly proud.
So, on to Question 2 on the list.

What is this blog's personality?

Does your blog have a personality? Do you even have a blog or Myspace page? can help you find out. Amazingly, it uses (or claims to use) the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to assess what blogs are like. Myers-Briggs are some clever psychologist people that came up with (to quote from Wiki) : "a psychometric questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions." [Wiki] Which sounds nice and clever. Right? It measures levels of:

Extraversion Introversion
Sensing iNtuition
Thinking Feeling
Judging Perceiving

You're either one or the other. You know the deal. All that sort usual personality stuff. So if we type into the clever machine at Typealyzer it tells me that this blog's personality type is: ESFP = Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Percieving.
"The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves."
Bright colours. Sweet smells. Soft fabrics. WOW! How true! Ummm. How unlike the grumpy, unfeeling, introverted author...

I threw in a few other blogs I like to see if this analysis was as accurate as a Lucky 8 Pool ball, but the results it came back with were quite interesting.

Thinker and all round cleverclogs Malcolm Gladwell's blog - came back as: INTJ - The Scientist
"The long-range thinking and individualistic type. They are especially good at looking at almost anything and figuring out a way of improving it - often with a highly creative and imaginative touch. They are intellectually curious and daring, but might be pshysically hesitant to try new things."
All round nice guy and journalist/reviewer Andrew Collins' blog was analysed as ISTP - The Mechanic
"The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts."
So maybe it isn't just astrology for blogs. Tis actually scientific in some way. There are 16 possible combinations of characteristics, but a lot of blogs I looked up were *Entertainers* but then maybe that's in the nature of the medium. No? Well, I've no idea how it works, but it takes self-analysis to whole new levels and tis modern so we must all go there now and analyse. Go, I bid you, go. Then come back. Please?


Who am I? Like really? Like, I need to find myself, man.

I'm not entirely convinced by personality tests as I think they're more likely to tell us what we want to be. Who we aspire to be. However, I did this test at - I'm an Advocating Leader apparently. Hmmm. Reeeellly? Are you sure? Who am I leading? And what am I advocating? Judging by searches on the blog, I'm mainly advocating big ear holes and bushy eyebrows.

And I'm 94% more male than most people that take the test? Really? Do mainly women take the test? But then it says I'm not particularly confident, so what do I know? I'm not sure.

Right. All that's done. I know where I stand. What this blog is all about and what the visitors want. Now I can start to change everything. EVERYTHING. Tomorrow, I'm starting it tomorrow. Almost certainly. Probably. I hope....


  1. Well, my blog's a mechanic too. So I spent 2008 becoming like Andrew Collins. I knew that. That was deliberate. I'm not entirely convinced that my blog reflects me very well though.

    As to the personal DNA thing, I did that on facebook (I seem to have deleted it now) and you could get your friends to pass comment. Noone agreed on anyone else's, you never appear as you think you are. So everyone's fake, or deluded, or unable to be themselves around other people. We all need help and our blogs are nicer than we are. Except Andrew Collins, he's even nicer than his blog. And Richard Herring. And you. And, well everyone except me. I am going to be more like my blog. I'm confused now. Thank you for your help.

  2. I knew I'd done the personal DNA thing. I'm an attentive experiencer. And I'm more male than 82% of respondents.