Sunday, January 17, 2010

Why human fat is the only fat it is perfectly safe to eat

Fat. Everyone loves a bit of fat. Whether it's in your 'healthy' half-fat milk or your indulgent bacon, sausage, fried bread and hash brown breakfast - you can't beat a nice bit of fat. Sadly, "the powers that be" have "decided" that fatty food is not good for us. Frankly it's "Political Correctness Gone Mad!!!". If I can't sit in my own home watching the Playland tv station whilst I mainline a goose fat into my veins - I mean - what has gone wrong with this country???? They'll be telling me what to drink next. Seven units a day?????? It's crazy. etc

However, it's not just 'the government' telling me what to do. It's people that I do know. A friend that we'll call 'Matilda' came round my old gaff about 6 months ago and I was frying something with posh olive oil. The virgin type that has not been used for nowt ever. That has not even been fondled. Surely that must be good for me????? Oh how wrong that was. 'Apparently' I should not have been frying with that.

Madness! Apparently the foreign johnnies use it in 'salads' or somesuch. Not for frying chips. That's where I was going wrong. So being an obedient so-and-so I went out and bought some sunflower oil. Like it was the early 1980s and that was the thing to do. High fibre and sunflower oil - that's still right, right?

Or so the bbc tells me: Fat is an essential part of the diet, but lots of people eat more fat than they need or is good for them.
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But now Matilda is telling me the opposite is true.:

And I should listen to Mr Ray Peat and his 'anti-science' arguments. Mr Ray Peat says that, "The food-derived polyunsaturated fatty acids play important roles in the development of all of the problems associated with aging bla bla bla."

It's convincingly confusing all this science and anti-science talk. I wish Harry Hill would appear and settle the issue with a jolly good fight between Mr Peat & Mr BBC.

In the meantime I remain convinced that human fat is the way forward. Either syphon off your own subcutaneous fatty tissue and keep it in the freezer until the next time you need to fry some onions - or else buy some blubber off a fat friend. It's win-win. They get thinner and you get a healthy selection of fried foods. Roast potatoes in fat lady fat - what could be better than that. It's the future. You know where you are with human fat. If it's already part of your body it's not doing you any harm if you cook it n eat it, right? I'm thinking of getting a tap fitted in my abdomen. One day I will be seen as forward thinking.

As Woody Allen as pointed out previously, thoughts change on these matters. I expect to be proved right AS ALWAYS.......


  1. Bloody hell... I use virgin olive oil for everything...

  2. hey don't believe anything I say. I haven't got a clue. There are different types of olive oil for cooking but google anything like this and you end up with totally opposing opinions.......

  3. Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good for us is bad for us: sun, milk, red meat, college...

    - Alvy Singer in "Annie Hall" (from memory).